Late-life Motherhood – Facing Menopause with Young Children
A very good friend of mine sent me a book Hot Flashes, Warm Bottles by Nancy London when I was undergoing fertility procedures (I was in my early 40s). I read a chapter which talked about going through menopause having young children underfoot. When a women has her children at a younger age, the children have usually left home and are off doing their own thing when menopause starts. I know that isn’t always the case – some kids never leave home or they come back because it is a great place to be!!!!! More to the point is that these kids are now young adults having their own things to do and don’t need the same level of care that toddlers and young kids need. They can be more cognitive of what is going on and may be more supportive.
As I was approaching my mid-40s and still trying to build my family, I realized that I was not going to be able to be on my own while dealing with menopause and could easily be dealing with young children, tweens or teens at the same time. Now I have no idea what menopause is going to be like for me but I remember going to bed in tears wondering what I was doing.
After a good night’s sleep I realized that yes, I was starting my family building in my 40s and I was simply going to be okay with anything that came my way. Nothing is guaranteed in life. Yes my children will have an older mother. I have a good friend who died of cancer at 40 and left her 5 year old son. There are no guarantees in life. Life is what you make of it. I take good care of myself and intend to be around for a long time, for myself and my family. That is the best that I can do.